How to Not Be Crazy Relationship Person

Current Mood: So happy about this day off, it’s probably a bit sick.

Current Song: something from Forget Me Not by Jagjit Singh

I’m so incredibly sorry for having been away for so long. With Navroz and work and various other commitments to keep myself healthy and sane, the blog fell by the wayside.  I hope that it doesn’t happen again, because I do desperately miss being here.

So it’s getting around wedding season and us single people have some of those coupled and married friends, who seem to become hyper-couply around this time.  I love love.  I love seeing people in love.  There is nothing more beautiful than two people who are happy together.  But couples can be irritating when they start to live in their own world.  I agree with celebrating and enjoying coupledom;  I don’t agree with annoying everyone with it.  So from a single, here are some things you can do to not become crazy relationship people.

1. Get a life. Call your friends.  We all have friends who become so involved in their couple that they entirely forget about people who are not their spouse.  When they do call, all they talk about is themselves.  Don’t be these people.  Ask about others.  Do something fun with friends.  Have a girls’ or guys’ night out.  Make it a mission to have fun outside of your pair.  Do not call only when you’ve had a row with your significant other.  We will not answer the phone. I promise.

2. There is a time and a place to talk about your wedding.  Seriously.  We are happy you’re getting married.  Yes, it was a long time coming.  Yes, we are looking forward to sharing your big day.  But please, don’t make every conversation you have with everyone about your wedding. We’re sorry your mother-in-law is a pain.  We’re sorry your spouse has been too busy working to help out.  But you need to know when you shut up about it too.

3. Stop Social-media spamming us with couple statuses.  Awww, it’s your boyfriend’s birthday and he’s out of town, and you miss him, and you can’t wait for him to get home.  And OMG, you just received something in the mail from shnookums (just because).  Fantastic.  We’re so glad.  We don’t need you to post it on Facebook and Twitter and your blog.  Knowing about every date night, every fight, every moment of pining desperation is nauseating.

4. Remember, you are one whole person yourself.  Oftentimes, couples become each other.  We refer to our partners as our “better half” or “other half”.  Remember that you weren’t walking around as half a person before you met your partner.  You don’t need to do everything together, and become so integrated that you no longer know who you are.  Spend time with others, and be awesome for the other person.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

Now before you think I’m this crazy couple-hating weirdo, I’d like to say I’m not.  I have lots of friends that are in couples, and I am happy to see them happy (because we have been through loads together), and I celebrate their milestones along with them (gifts included).  I love weddings – they are my absolute favourite time of the year. But let’s all remember to acknowledge those in our lives, not just out of convenience.  End rant.

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4 thoughts on “How to Not Be Crazy Relationship Person

  1. I love this, and the only problem I have with it, really, is that you were too nice to couples. Call me cynical, soulless, or just plain mean, but I have even less patience for them then you do.

    I do have friends that are dating, of course. It would be hard not to. But I treasure my single friends. And when friends become engaged, 8 times out of ten, you can look for years of stupidity in regards to their conversations, pictures, updates, and such. First, the time from engagement to marriage, then about the wedding itself. THEN how wonderful it is to be a newlywed, for at least the first year.

    I cannot decide if it is more pathetic when newlyweds act the way you describe, or when people who have been married for 15 or 20 years act, talk, and slobber that way in public.

    Okay, I have thought about it…the latter is worse.

    • I love when people can celebrate being together. In this day and age with broken homes and divorces, I can appreciate that. I don’t appreciate however, everything being about the couple. It’s more about balance than anything else.

  2. I love my boyfriend, but sometimes I really miss being single. He works crazy hours though, so I do a lot of things by myself. I guess I’m like the anti-couple coupled person. Not to put a label on it or anything. I don’t know anyone that’s getting married, though. Only one couple, in England, and my boyfriend and I are flying over to attend in September. But that’s it. That’s the first of my friends. And if I ever get married, I’m eloping. I don’t think I’m cut out to be part of “wedding season.”

    • Harriet, I have never been one of two, ever (or have felt like it). Some of us are just better off being how we are. I think it’s about being present in the situation you are in, and that’s the end of it.

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