Current Mood: It’s those darn allergies again.
Current Song: a ghazal or four.
I have been thinking a lot about responsibility and “owning it” these days. It’s the kind of headspace I’m in at the moment. Then I read (as happens rather serendipitously) this post by Elisa about being the author of your own life. I noted that beyond anything else, the overarching theme in such posts has been the concept of accountability. In other words, owning your actions and taking responsibility for the trajectory of your own life.
This is something that I struggle with at times. Not that I have a sense of entitlement and think that I somehow deserve to be showered with good things. I was brought up in a strongly faith-based household (they’re rather faithful; I am a little wayward) and as such, we heard a lot of the phrase “leave it to God.”
Is this somehow wrong? No, probably not. I don’t think it’s means “leave all of it to God.” Rather it seems to entail doing your best to get out of situations you don’t like, and into ones that are better suited – to use some sort of human agency to get to where you need to be – and hope that other things fall into place because of your ability to be accountable.
Credit: Creative Commons
I hear a lot of people complain about how they don’t like where they are, and why can’t it be different, and why does it all have to suck all the time. To that I say, stop being a princess and take some small action every day to change that perception.
It’s still something I struggle with, but I figure if I don’t make strides to change it, I have no right to complain about it. For anyone who has owned anything before, you know that ownership comes with responsibility. And being accountable for your actions, successes and failures is about the only way I can think of to move forward. Things are never static, and for that we can be grateful; but to actually steer the course of your life, you have to be behind the wheel. I choose to take responsibility for myself. Do you?
Great post, Mehnaz — and I loved Elisa’s post, so I’m glad that you have added to that.
I understand the question of accountability — and you’re exactly right that this is what it means to take control of your own life, to be responsible for your actions and maybe even your outlook — whether you see things positively or negatively. I confess, I like being in control of my own life — and when sudden changes happen that I’m not prepared for, it kind of throws me off guard. Being of the spiritual sort, it’s been hard to balance taking control of your actions and leaving it up to the universe.
But I do believe that there is a balance that can be reached. I can’t find myself agreeing with the people who leave everything up to their God because it’s your life, you’re in the driver’s seat, and, as you say, you have to take control of the wheel.
Which is why I kind of believe that you do the best you can do and then, when you can’t anymore, you let go and let God. It’s a phrase I heard a long, long time ago that I kind of guide my life by now. Take the lead, but know that God — the Universe, whatever you call it — will be there to guide you when you veer off course.
This post really has me thinking! Great thoughts, Mehnaz!
You are absolutely right, Susan. I have become of the same belief. Afterall, things work out when you actually make an effort to shape your own destiny. Doors won’t actually open if you don’t turn the knob! And it’s a great reminder as well to be cognizant of things you can change, and things you can’t change. Thanks for commenting!
I have to agree. I spent a year complaining and whining about my job. I would half-heartedly look for jobs but didn’t exactly try very hard. Then about three months ago I woke up. If I really wanted to leave my job, I had to actually do something about it. I made a pact that I would turn in my resignation within 6 weeks. Giving myself that deadline made me get serious. I applied for jobs that weren’t on job boards, networked, put in the extra effort on my resume and cover letter, etc. I got three interviews within a week, all of which landed me second interviews. I was determined. Your attitude really does affect things. Until I changed my attitude, I wasn’t giving it my all and wasn’t seeing results. I had to take responsbility for my future. No one else will.
That’s really impressive, Lindsey, and good on you for taking the steps to change your own course as well! It really is about attitude; if you can’t believe that you are in charge, then you probably won’t be!
Thanks for checking in and commenting!